Thursday, March 16, 2006

Sometimes I wish I lived in Ancient Rome.Why?So that I could feed christians to the lions and watch them get torn to shreds as I sip on a cold beer in the summer sun.Most (note the word most) christians make my blood boil.
The first offending party are Jesus Jacket wearers?You know how when you go see your favourite football/soccer team play you would wear your team's strip so that people would know where you your allegiences lay.Well there are many christians who treat salvation like a weekend game and wear their salvation on Sundays.On that day they are the most spiritual exhuberant people that you meet but at the end of the day when they get home that's the end of that.These are the kind of people who do the same things that non-christians do, be it gossiping,lust,cheating,fornicating or stealing they do it.The only difference between you and them is that they go to church on Sunday.I am not being judgemental but the new testament says that you will know them by their fruit and in their cases I see nothing at all.GO JESUS TEAM WOO HOO!!!!
Next come what I call the shpiri folk coz they say the word spirit as shhhhhpirit.They do that with their eyes scrunched up in some sort of ecstatic stupor.These are the people who cry on the drop of a hat.They are also known for doing things like rolling on the ground and speaking in tongues.BTW quick Bible lesson for you out there, the tongues that people speak nowadays are counterfeit.When the Holy Spirit first came down in book of Acts to be specific Acts 2:6-12 Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language.And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilaeans?And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born?Parthians, and Medes, and Elamites, and the dwellers in Mesopotamia, and in Judaea, and Cappadocia, in Pontus, and Asia,Phrygia, and Pamphylia, in Egypt, and in the parts of Libya about Cyrene, and strangers of Rome, Jews and proselytes,Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God.And they were all amazed, and were in doubt, saying one to another, What meaneth this? KJV.
Let me add a little to this lesson about tongues, Corinthians 13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
So point one if someone is speaking in tongues it should be a human tongue and how come there are loads of people who can speak them yet there is rarely someone to translate yet translation of tongues is one of the gifts?So any tongue speakers out there are on their own trip if you ask me.Anyway I haven't finished beating on this group because they always seem to be aware of what the devil is doing and how he is doing it.They will spew cow piss like, "the demons are being spread by clothes made by that company with that symbol,the devil is behind all these road accidents nowadays and the music that is on the radio is by devil worshippers."These are the kind of people who spend every moment looking out for attacks by the devil instead of being aware of what God is doing and what part they can play.Come to think of it these are the people who always have some sort of spiritual excuse for not doing something, they are so spiritually minded that they are of no earthly good.
The third group are those who think God is some cosmic atm,health dispenser and dream validator.They believe in what is known as the "health and wealth" gospel also known as the "name it and claim it" doctrine.The basic premise of this load of grade A manure is, believe with all your heart and soul, they tell the faithful. And give, give, give until you can't give any more.God, they say, loves a cheerful giver.They claim that the true Christian has only to ask for these things and they will be granted to them. By contrast if a Christian is not enjoying these benefits then it is because they either have not asked for them (thus denying themselves for no reason) or because they have some sin in their lives which is preventing God from blessing them (That is so so so so full of crap that I dont even know where to start in refuting it).Their churches tend to be big,have hundreds/thousands of followers, have a young/attractive congregation, engaging sermons and charismatic leaders.The present day flag bearers of this travesty are people like Creflo Dollar, Juanita Bynum, Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer. Joyce Meyer spends most of her three-day conferences on lessons in giving, and she is blunt when she addresses what the critics say about her seed-faith interpretation of the Bible. She says that those preachers who believe that to be godly is to be poor are the ones who have it wrong.( In my opinion one can be rich or poor and still be fulfiling God's purpose for their life ). Looking at a list of sermons by the golden boy Joel Osteen:
I see little their about getting rooted in the word, providing for your neighbour,fogiveness,getting closer to God,resisting temptation and other issues relevant to christians in their everyday walk with Christ.The book of Timothy puts it best,For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. (1 Timothy 6:10).In contrast to prosperity theology, sound biblical theology teaches that God does not have to do anything. God, the Creator of all things, is sovereign in all things, not the creature. God is not obligated to heal or prosper anyone, yet He graciously does, and neither is deserved. Someone has said: "healing is not a divine obligation, it is a divine gift". The receiver of the gift can make no demands. God can be trusted to do all things well.The unfortunate thing is that many people both abroad and in Kenya are falling for the teachings of these charlatans and think by giving till it hurts as Juanita Bynum says they will reap the riches of heaven on earth.When in reality they are concentrating on wealth at the expense of a relationship with God.Sometimes I stop being angry at the believers of this heresy and just pity them, don't fall for it God has a plan for your life and even though it may not involve Bill Gates' kind of money God still has your best interests at heart.
The third group is what I like to call the seals and parrots.These are the people who take everything that their pastor says as gospel truth and go ahead to repeat it like circus parrots.They come with the seals, these are those who like seals at the aquarium clap enthusiastically at everything the pastor says nodding their heads.Since the man/woman is on the podium according to them, they must be of God and all that they are saying is right and good.These people rarely ever compare what they are told against what the word says, they are the ones whom if you argue with tell you "My pastor said......" What your pastor said shouldnt come first, it's what the word says that should come first.Even in the New Testament Paul himself was impressed by the Bereans who studied all that he told them against the word to see if he was on the right path.That is how cults begin, when people do not have the sense to check what they are told against the best spiritual litmus paper on the market.....the Bible.It has been said that the Bible is the most bought but least read book.
The other people who make me sick are those christians who feel that it is their responsibility to drop sermons on you like anvils anytime and all the time so you can accept the Lord, and if you dont they consign you to burn in hell.First of all I find "pestimonies" that's what I call their long winded testimonies which are more like stories to me ; very tiring.The Bible talks of salvation shining like a lamp and not like a 6000W light bulb in the face at 4am.I think as a christian your lifestyle should be enough of a testimony.
Oh this just came to me!Why is it that christianity seems to be the least holistic religion?It seems to start and end in church.Muslims fast,try to feed the poor,give their bretheren interest free loans and most avoid alcohol (their religion is part of everyday life), jain hindus dont eat any food with animal products and do not kill any living thing whatsoever, most of them also practice yoga which is why many of them have good health,less stress and longer lives.Christianity in itself is a holistic religion but isnt practiced that way at all!God placed us to be stewards of the earth but it seems that most conservationists are new agers and not christians.Christians also seem to be poor stewards of on of the greatest resources that God gave them....the human body.But anyway like I said, so many christians are so spiritually minded that they are of no earthly good.
Don't get me wrong I don't expect christians to be perfect I know they are human like us and make mistakes.But there are those who act like they have halos and walk on air when in reality some of them are more sleazy then the rest of us Jimmy Swaggart anyone?The christians whom I respect are the ones who live their walk with Christ one day at a time, read their bibles everyday, pray, work and let their life be the best testimony possible.


At 3/17/2006 12:44:00 AM, Blogger kritik said...

Jeezus of Nazareth!!!! preach brother preach!!
am shocked by the pin point accuracy in your assessment of our "eco-christians" i must say its been long since i went to church and yea,
it beats logic as to why i have to be inundiated with calls to "give" as opposed to being offered spiritual nourishment.
sadly, the church is the fastest growing economic sector in kenya, and sadly, they dont contribute a zinch to the govt in form of taxes!!
hapa instigator, u have surely unmasked a potent debate!!!

At 3/17/2006 12:51:00 AM, Blogger kritik said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3/17/2006 03:53:00 AM, Blogger kritik said...

ohhh i almost forgot, there is this bunch of hippy saved jamaas who insist on carrying on with the worldly ways. they will go clubbing on the pretext of "reaching out to our lost brethren"
they will even take wines and some mild exotic liqors. Try reminding them that they are sinning, and they quicly quote some half baked truths refering to the bible, and hence justify their acts.
anyway christians are the most hypocritical bunch there is..and am one of them!!

At 3/17/2006 04:59:00 AM, Blogger mama shady said...

'The christians whom I respect are the ones who live their walk with Christ one day at a time, read their bibles everyday, pray, work and let their life be the best testimony possible.'
heh, yani, your post was loooong! and when i started reading it , yani my defenses were up, but once i finished i realised i couldnt agree with you more. so many christians seek their answers form men(i.e.humankind)!all this after the bible tells us to never plave our confidence in man. hmph!i dont know!

At 3/17/2006 08:19:00 AM, Blogger Instigator said...

@ kritik
This issue had been gnawing away at me for a long long time.I havent even talked about pastors who screw people's wives.Yes these thugs are making cash from ppl's thirst for the gospel.As for the christians at heng joints I think they are working undercover just like you!:D
@ mama shady
I may diss the people but I try to do so within limits!

At 3/19/2006 09:50:00 PM, Blogger KenyanMusings said...

Yaay that you have posted something. Bless your kind heart.

Now off to read. I hope your weekend was great

At 3/19/2006 10:02:00 PM, Blogger KenyanMusings said...

LOL. I know it’s serious but Shhhhpirit! LOOL. Uh, and you had the ‘the third group’ twice. Technically it was supposed to be the fourth. **grin grin**, noticing the inconsequential here.
But really, yes, I agree. Fanaticism sucks. I think it is necessary that everyone defines a personal relationship with their God, whoever the deem him/her to be. I hate that people mystify God, like she/he is this mean ass guy/chic who will strike you with lightning or sum….it just pisses me off to no end. For me, God is a friend. I talk to him the way I do a friend, and that works for me. All this other mumbo jumbo is hogwash. But, hey, that is just me. P.s I am not sure if God is a man or woman so, pffft, I was all with the he/she thing. Pps. Dude, you are all with the bible and stuff! Wow!

Thanks for posting.
Have a brill week

At 3/20/2006 07:38:00 AM, Blogger Instigator said...

@ KM
Thanks for passing by!I had a great weekend!I guess with all that typing I was doing it was inevitable a miscount would occurr.As for being with the Bible, it means nothing if you dont read it and understand it plus it comes in handy for beating ignorant shpiritual folks round the head with!

At 3/22/2006 05:01:00 AM, Blogger Kenyangal said...

Only God can Judge us

At 3/22/2006 08:44:00 PM, Blogger Instigator said...

@ kenyangal
That I agree but the Bible also says that you shall know them by their fruit doesnt it?So I am your fruit inspector!


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